My Mom cracks me up

So, my Mom had been meaning to send my Aunt and I a list of the toiletry, etc items that she had on the boat, and that we wouldn't need to pack. The boat isn't all that big with 4 adults and a dog on it, so the less you bring the better. This e-mail arrived in my inbox yesterday evening and I cracked up. Besides the obvious, it's meant as a joke :-)
__________

Dear Cruise Passenger;
We are delighted that you have chosen the mv AQUILA for your 2009 Alaskan Glacier Adventure. We want you to enjoy your trip. Following is a list of items which we carry that are available to you at no additional fee. Remember, this a casual cruise. Formal nights have been eliminated due to lack of interest.

- Shampoo (Pantene)
- Conditioner
- Shower gel
- Body lotion
- Sunblock (#8, #15, #30 and #45)
- Insect repellent (yes, there are mosquitoes in Alaska)
- Curling iron
- Hair dryer (can only be used when we are in port)
- All linens
- Laptop
Cd's for storing and/or sharing photos
- First Aid supplies including:
Ibuprofen, Excedrin, Benadryl, Tums, and various ointments
Seasick medications (holistic as well as Dramamine)
- Numerous paperback books in the library
- Binoculars

Some items that will be necessary for you to bring: (the temperature in the fjords near the glacier is often in the 20's F) One does not need to spend much time outside. One can stay in the heated salon. However, most of our guests prefer to look at icebergs from the outside deck.

- Warm coat (or layer lighter ones)
- Rain slicker or umbrella if it rains in Juneau while you want to
site-see
- Cap (we have a few available to borrow)
- Gloves
- Good walking shoes for site seeing in Juneau
- Shoes that can get wet (it may rain either while we are in Juneau
or while we out of port)
- Personal medication
- Camera

Some items that are not necessary to bring:

- A hard sided suitcase. Storage space is at a premium and a duffel that
folds will work best.
- High heel shoes

Miscellaneous information:

- The cruise line has a small dog as a mascot. Dog lovers only are encouraged to take this cruise.
- We are a "no smoking" cruise line
- There will only be cell service while in Juneau.
- There will only be internet service while in Juneau.
- Email service will be available on Aquila's satellite system while away from
port.
- Kayaks are available at no additional fee
- In order to keep the capt. on an even keel, please feed him chocolate at
regular intervals
- BYOB or beer, etc. Alcohol may be consumed both in port and during cruise,
however it is not provided by the management
- Please feel free to bring to spare boat parts
- A limited number of DVD movies are available. Feel free to bring your own. They will be a wonderful addition to our "Popcorn at the Movies" evenings
- Earplugs may eliminate equipment and other miscellaneous noises

We hope this helps with your trip planning. We are anxious to meet you and begin the adventure. Remember, gratuities are gratefully accepted.

Sincerely,
Phred - Captain, Maintenance Engineer, and Entertainment
Joan - Admiral, Chef and Cabin Steward.